Never Say Never

Never Say Never

There are times when you need to move with the crowd and there are moments you need to be alone to CONQUER YOUR FEARS.

You will never know unless you TRY.

They might say you can’t do it , but you only need to HAVE FAITH IN YOUR CAPACITY and PROVE IT TO YOURSELF that YOU CAN DO IT.

No matter how long and tiring your journey was,

you can STOP,

BREATH,

take it SLOW,

find your pacing,

and continue to MOVE FORWARD until you reach the finish line.

Never say never!

You only live once! YOLO! 🙂

Your Maid of Honor

It was a dream come true when my cousin had chosen me to be her maid of honor for her wedding this December 2012.  I’m ecstatic to be one because I’ve never been a bridesmaid or a maid of honor.  In the earlier part of their wedding preparations,  I was about to turn down the position as her MOH because I was unsure if I’d be here in time for her wedding.  I’ve seen the look of dismay on her face every time I talk about it, but things turned the other way around so I’m very sure now that I’ll be on that very special day. It will definitely be a busy 3 and a half months away from their wedding day. I am starting to feel the excitement, thrill, and a little butterflies.

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It’s just the other day when I came to fully think about what does it really mean to be a Maid of Honor.  Okay, I googled it. 😀  There are so many Maid of Honor duties to count and special reasons why a bride chooses someone to be her Maid of Honor.  A Maid of Honor is a part-time worker bee, part-time emotional life boat, trouble-shooter and smart advisor.  She must have a sympathetic ear, limitless patience and a sense of humor.  I think that’s me..hahaha.  Well, that googling thing made me realize the privilege to be a Maid of Honor.  I have not made a simple thank you letter to the bride for choosing me to be her MOH, so here it goes.

Dear Ayen,

I would like to say my sincere “Thank you” for choosing me to be your Maid of Honor.  It is a privilege to be chosen from all the people who you know and who are closest to you.  We have known each other from the day you were born and until now.  We may have different tastes and personalities but there’s always a special bond that will connect us as cousins, friends and sisters.  I thank you for trusting me as your MOH.

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I am honored to serve, to help, to witness and to play an important part on your wedding preparations until your wedding day.

I may lack experience.  I may not be the best MOH,  but I will try to give my best to support you and do all the things that you expect of me.  I am looking forward to all the memories that we will share along the way until your big day.  God bless you!

Love,

Ate Cris

Have it your way.

The famous catchy phrase says, “Have it your way.”

We are used to having it our own way.  Back in the day, there were instances where I would insist having it my way. When my plans don’t happen the way I pictured it to happen, I would end up in a bad mood. I become bitter and disappointed.

When I was in the US embassy last July 2011, I just stared and observed the people as they finish their interviews. Others leave the place with a big smile, confidence and some with a blank face (because they were denied). I remember when this woman turned her back from the consul’s window and approached someone (she knows) and said, “Maybe, God has other plans for me!” There was no trace of sadness and disappointment on the woman’s face but an aura of hope and faith in God. That moment, I know she has her full trust in God. I smiled inside of me.

Before my interview, I bear in mind the usual questions to be answered and the important information I need to give to the consul. The bottom line is I came prepared. I even used faith words and declared that I will be approved and I am favored by God. Well, things turned the other way around when the not so pleasant, good-looking consul asked few short questions far from the purpose of my travel and exam and denied me without a care to see my support documents. So, I went home still with joy and overpowered by the woman’s declaration that, “Maybe God has other plans.”

Then, I had another interview the following week. This time I talked to God, “I will do this Lord. I want this to be finished. You are bigger than anyone else in this place. I surrender this to you. I trust you. You are in control.” The interview went well. The consul was very nice and was open to let me ask a few questions but in the end, I was denied again. That was a tough test.

I cannot deny that I got sad and cried a little about what happened. It was out of my hands but I didn’t let that thing get a hold of me. I said to God, “Whatever happened I will still continue to trust and praise you even I was hurt.” I was amazed how easily I was able to move on with this trial with a joy and peace in my heart and mind. I know I need to hold on to His promise that, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:12

Looking back, I know I will never find the answers to my questions on why I was denied twice.   Maybe there are questions that no one can ever answer except Him. Unanswered prayers.  Lost a loved one. Neglected and left by someone. Lost in a game which you have trained hard. Plans that need to be adjusted because of a delay. There are times when things will go in the other direction. When these things happen we tend to be bitter, anxious, disappointed, lose our trust in God, blame and question Him. But who are we to question Him. We need to release from the negative feelings and thoughts. Let go and let God be God. Finally, we can now say, “Have it your way, God.” because God’s ways are not our ways.

Isaiah 55:8-9

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

One step at a time

“Every journey starts with a single step.”

Today, I finally stepped into the treadmill after it was not functioning for some time and after I decided that I need to keep on moving.  I joined 5k and 3k runs for the last 3 years and enrolled and wasted a gym membership. But due to my inconsistency and lack of discipline even though I lost weight, still I continued to gain more bulge. Having hypothyroidism isn’t an excuse for me to say I gained more pounds and had a lack of energy solely because of it but it is me to blame.

Working in a physically demanding job is different from being physically active through exercise.  I believe we can always make changes and it’s up to me.  It’s difficult to start over again to be physically active but I’ll be taking it one step at a time I need this to reach my ideal weight and to be fit, energetic and fabulous.  Health is wealth.

Yesterday, my birthday.

Yesterday was my birthday.  I turned 28.  While some of the people I know who’s my age is engaged, married, has their own family and has a stable career, I am on the other hand is opposite. I am single (but committed) and starting to reach my ultimate dreams.  Sometimes it makes me think that by now I should be independent, living on my own but things are different here in this side of the world (I mean in my country).  Sometimes I even dread that I’ll be way past the child-bearing age.  But I believe there’s always a time for everything.  Right?  By that time I’ll be living in another country, having my own place, driving my own car and just starting a new and exciting adventure.

My plans for my birthday were to stay at home and buy a cake.  But things turned the other way around.

My relatives and I went to Kaya Korean Restaurant for lunch.  I had my favorite and healthy Dolsot Bibimbap (Mixed veggies in rice with a spicy red pepper paste) and Panjeora (Squid and Leeks Pancake).

After that, we went to see the Human Body Exhibit.  Very educational.  My cousin’s bf paid for my ticket, so it’s free.:)

Then, we accompanied my grandmother for a doctor visit.

I bought Mango Bravo in Conti’s in Alabang which I was craving for a long time.  A towering cake with layers of meringue, choco mousse with cashews and mangoes, topped with mangoes again and covered with whipped cream.  Loaded with calories but because it’s my birthday I’ll give an excuse. 🙂

Then, got home tired, had dinner and finally excitedly blew my birthday candle and made a wish.

There were a great number of people who greeted me this year while some has forgotten, but it’s just okay.;)  Who I am most thankful for is God for giving me the best gift ever, another year of life to be the best that I can be, enjoy it, and live life for His glory.

So there you go, that was my simple birthday. 🙂

A good start

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It is a feeling of relief that I can always start anew any time that I want but I realized time will not wait for me though.  I’m not chasing time but I know I need to pick up myself and keep on going.  It’s like finishing to read the notes and books that I have left for a few weeks because of my dilly-dallying.  How I regret I wasted my time for nothing…

For the last few days, I am grateful for…
• the time and this life that was given to me by the Almighty. 
• the people I met and saw whose lives were an example of how life should be: happy, always striving to improve themselves, struggling but dependent on God’s grace and continuously having that hunger for Jesus.
• the unwavering support of my special someone.
• the few months that I have as I prepare for my upcoming endeavor.
I need to give more than a 100%. It’s just a few more months and I know my life will change.
• starting to wake up early in the morning. I’m happy that my body clock is slowly returning to normal now.

Thank you Lord Jesus! 🙂

What about you, is there anything that you want to have a good start?

Blooms

Last night before I went to sleep while looking on a photo of a flower something popped out of my mind but I don’t have anyone to share it with so I’m sharing it here. We only have two seasons in the Philippines, the rainy and dry or summer seasons. That’s the reason I am excited to experience the other seasons like Winter, Spring and Fall. It amazes me how trees and flowers change through the seasons. It blows my mind that we are like flowers. Some flowers bloom more colorfully after the winter, some wilt and die during the summer, and some remain to thrive, undisturbed with whatever season and environment like the wild flowers. I’m keeping in mind that like flowers I know that each person will bloom beautifully in whatever season she will experience in her life.

 

 

I’m ready to live again

There were moments I felt I reached the end,
Got wounded, broken, weak and confused in my own battle,
I forgot someone else above loves me more than anyone else,
I almost gave up but He never got tired of me,
He embraced me in all my weaknesses and gave me His strength.

Every waking moment that I can feel my heartbeat and I can breath,
I know that I am meant to live and face the world,
I know I need to keep on going.

Now, I WILL KEEP MY HEAD UP, SMILE AND SAY, “I’M READY TO LIVE AGAIN.”

Thank you Lord for the strength! Thank you for this life!